


Hold On (I still Need You)

by Rainy182



Series: Song Based Fics [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: But there is suicide, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, On The Ark, Post Season 4, Suicide, This Is Sad, it's not really graphic, why do i keep writing sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy182/pseuds/Rainy182
Summary: Emori finds John in the Bathroom and she cries.





	Hold On (I still Need You)

**Author's Note:**

> I keep trying to write happy fics, but between my not so good mood and the songs I'm listening to- well... It's not happening. Anyways, this does implies suicide, so there is a soft trigger warning. Is there a word for soft trigger warnings? 
> 
> I hope this fulfills your sad fic quota. I would also recommend listening to the song this story is titled after while reading: Hold On by Chord Overstreet

“John, you won’t believe what I just found!” Emori calls out as she walks into the small room that she and John share. When she looks up from the old tablet she is holding silence and a empty room greets her. 

 

“John?” She calls out again, slowly looking around before trying the bathroom door. Only to find it locked, the knob not turning under her hand. Huffing a slightly annoyed laugh she just knocks. 

 

“You know, this isn’t cute. Open the door, so I can show you this thing I found.” 

 

Silence greets replies to her request. Emori starts to feel worry climb into her throat, like a ball of pressure that she’s swallowed down one to many times. 

 

_ “You okay? You seem kinda tired lately?”  _

_ “I’m fine Em, just exhausted.” _

 

Emori knocks a little harder as she tries to open the door with the weight of her body. She hears the tablet fall to the floor, but her minds to focused on what she might find behind the door. Her thoughts going back to the last few weeks. 

 

_ “I hate it here…” _

_ “It’s better than being dead John.” _

_ John huffs, “Yeah, the Ark just feels like a tomb at times.”  _

 

“John! Please open the door!” Emori screams her panic finally finding a voice as she keeps hitting the door her fist balled. 

 

_ “What do you want to eat?” _

_ “Nothing Em.” _

_ “You need to eat John, you cant-” _

_ “Just let me sleep Emori!!” John screams, before rolling over and muttering a soft, “I’m fine. Just tired.”  _

 

Bellamy runs into the room hearing Emori’s screams. At the sight of Emori attacking the door he tries to pull her away. Causing himself to get hit in the process. 

 

“John’s in there! I need to get him!” 

 

Bellamy nods, pushing her behind him as he kicks the door open. Revealing the sight of John’s slumped body. 

 

The orange bottle once filled of pain pills lays out next to his still body. A stark contrast to the silver and grey metal room. Emori rushes forward to John’s body, her arms wrapping around him as she pulls him close. One of her hands reaching out to grab the bottle, reading it before tossing it aside, quickly shaking John’s body. 

 

“John,” she continues to shake him, tapping his face, “John, please. Stay with me.”  Her tears starting to break free as she continues to rock John with her body. 

 

“Please John. Stay here. I need you John, please” 

 

Silence. 

 

“I love you,” her voice hoarse as she looks down at his closed eyes, his breath dangerously shallow. She never said that before, first out of fear, then wanting to wait for the perfect moment. Maybe if she said it more...

 

Tears fall on to John’s face as he slowly opens his eyes, his smile gracing his face, Emori starts to smile until she hears his whispered words.  

 

“I’m going home.” 

 

John’s grip loosens as the light in his eyes start to fade before shutting one last time. Emori chokes out a sob, her tears streaming down her face. 

 

“Your home was with me John.”

  
_ Your home was supposed to be with me. _

**Author's Note:**

> So if you want more angst/sad John Murphy, but without the actual death of John Murphy then check out my other Emori fic "I'm Nobody's Son". I'll be updating it next week!


End file.
